The voice of direct-response fundraising should always be one person talking to one other person.
Forget the reality that you’re creating a mass-produced message to a large audience. That’s what you see. You’re aware of the large number of people you’re addressing.
What the donor should see is something more intimate. Not an organization talking. It’s an individual speaking for the organization. And not a crowd receiving the message. Just one person.
This is important, because if your fundraising sounds like an impersonal organization addressing a crowd, you’re going to leave your donor feeling cold, detached, and less clearly connected to the issue. That kind of communication is almost like those horrible situations where crowds witness a crime or accident and don’t do anything to help. The crowd dynamic releases each of them from responsibility. That’s not how you want donors feeling while they consider whether to send you a gift.
Be very careful that “you” is always singular. Don’t slip and say things like “some of you” that place the reader in a crowd.
Jeff Brooks has been serving the nonprofit community for more than 35 years and blogging about it since 2005. He considers fundraising the most noble of pursuits and hopes you’ll join him in that opinion. You can reach him at jeff [at] jeff-brooks [dot] com.
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