Nonprofit organization accidentally appears to be craven and calculating, then reacts by proving itself to be craven and calculating

Prominent nonprofit Global Perception last week ended its long-standing ban on hiring left handed employees.

According to unnamed sources, the organization’s leadership felt that the change would not cause a stir, citing numerous opinion polls showing strong majorities of Americans supporting equal employment rights for left-handers.

The move prompted a strong negative reaction from staunch right-handers, who saw the change as a betrayal of their values. Thousands of them cancelled their donations to the organization.

“If they think they can turn their back on us just because their polling and research says it’s safe, they’ve got another think coming,” said one right-handed spokesperson.

Global Perception immediately responded to the backlash by reverting to their previous no-left-hander policy. Which prompted another backlash from left-handed groups, who were already gathered to celebrate the previous policy change.

“If they think they can turn their back on us just because pressure from right-hander groups says it’s safe, they’ve got another think coming,” said one left-handed spokesperson.

The Global Perception’s brand, once widely respected and admired, has dropped steeply. It now ranks in popularity between al Qaeda and the Canadian Association of Baby Seal Clubbers.