The best way to state a fundraising offer

Want to see a situation where a very small changing wording makes a meaningful difference in fundraising results? You’ll find it on the Better Fundraising Blog, at One Test, Three Lessons.

Yes, the post has three very useful lessons. But I want to focus on one of them. You’ll have surf over there to see the other two.

It’s about a direct response test to some offer language, with two very similar sentences went head-to-head:

  1. Your gift will provide clean water to a person.
  2. Your gift will provide clean, disease-free water to a person.

#2 did better.

This probably doesn’t surprise most people, but it’s worth looking at why adding “disease-free” pulled in more donations.

The post says it’s because those extra words embed the problem in the solution.

It reminds donors of what their gift will help fix.

Here are some more examples of problem-embedded solutions:

  • “You can provide no-strings-attached financial aid to a student.”
  • “Your gift will provide a Bible in a person’s own language for just $4.”
  • “You can provide healthy, non-fast food meals to a person living in a food desert.”

Embed the problem in the solution: it’s an easy way to improve the way you describe a fundraising offer.

See more posts in this series.


Comments

Leave a Reply

What this blog is about

The future of fundraising is not about social media, online video, or SEM. It’s not about any technology, medium, or technique. It’s about donors. If you need to raise funds from donors, you need to study them, respect them, and build everything you do around them. And the future? It’s already here. More.

Blog policies

Subscribe

Get new posts by email:

About the blogger

Jeff BrooksJeff Brooks has been serving the nonprofit community for more than 35 years and blogging about it since 2005. He considers fundraising the most noble of pursuits and hopes you’ll join him in that opinion. You can reach him at jeff [at] jeff-brooks [dot] com. More.


Archives

Blogroll

Categories


Search the blog

The future of fundraising is not about social media, online video, or SEM. It’s not about any technology, medium, or technique. It’s about donors. If you need to raise funds from donors, you need to study them, respect them, and build everything you do around them. And the future? It’s already here. More.

Recent Comments

About the blogger

Jeff Brooks has been serving the nonprofit community for more than 30 years and blogging about it since 2005. He considers fundraising the most noble of pursuits and hopes you’ll join him in that opinion. You can reach him at jeff [at] jeff-brooks [dot] com.