How to write headlines that pull reader in to your fundraising

Excerpt from How to Turn Your Words into Money: The Master Fundraiser’s Guide to Persuasive Writing

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Let’s look at the ingredients of a good headline:

  • News. Headlines should reveal something of interest, not merely label a situation. It could be news in the journalistic sense (Last Night’s Deep Freeze Sent Crowds of Homeless to Our Shelter). Or a personal story (Nick Says His Chemo Is Like Being “Rescued by a Monster”).
  • People. Make headlines about people, not situations. Instead of Drought Strikes Northeast Africa, make it Families Flee Worsening Drought.
  • Strong verbs. Use one- or two-syllable verbs that show action in a concrete, sensory way. Words like blast, climb, dance, flee, grab, jolt, limp, mumble, plunge, race, scamper, tear, wander, yell. Notice how these words sound like some kind of conflict is going on? That brings us to the next ingredient…
  • Conflict. The best headlines (and the stories people want to read) feature conflict.
  • Relationships. The most fascinating thing about people is their relationships. Use headlines to show how people are connected. Relationship words like Mom, Son, Baby, or profession words like Teacher or Soldier make headlines more interesting.
  • You. As often as possible, address your reader.
  • Punctuation. Don’t put a period at the end of a headline (it means stop). Go easy on exclamation marks (but don’t be afraid to use them). Think twice before asking a question in a headline. If the answer is a simple yes or no, or the question is uninteresting, it falls flat.
  • Mystery. For envelope teasers and email subject lines — places where the reader must take action to get to the rest of the message — it’s often best not to tell the news. Instead, create a sense of mystery. One of the most effective envelope teasers I ever wrote was Letter Enclosed.

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The future of fundraising is not about social media, online video, or SEM. It’s not about any technology, medium, or technique. It’s about donors. If you need to raise funds from donors, you need to study them, respect them, and build everything you do around them. And the future? It’s already here. More.

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Jeff BrooksJeff Brooks has been serving the nonprofit community for more than 35 years and blogging about it since 2005. He considers fundraising the most noble of pursuits and hopes you’ll join him in that opinion. You can reach him at jeff [at] jeff-brooks [dot] com. More.


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The future of fundraising is not about social media, online video, or SEM. It’s not about any technology, medium, or technique. It’s about donors. If you need to raise funds from donors, you need to study them, respect them, and build everything you do around them. And the future? It’s already here. More.

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Jeff Brooks has been serving the nonprofit community for more than 30 years and blogging about it since 2005. He considers fundraising the most noble of pursuits and hopes you’ll join him in that opinion. You can reach him at jeff [at] jeff-brooks [dot] com.

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